


Of Things Beyond My Yin

by plainapple



Category: Psych
Genre: Bondage, M/M, Rape/Non-con References, Spoilers, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-13
Updated: 2010-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-13 16:10:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/139163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plainapple/pseuds/plainapple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shawn awakens to finds himself in the middle of a nightmare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Things Beyond My Yin

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This story contains spoilers for the episode "Mr. Yin Presents", as well as attempted rape, kidnapping, mild psychological torture, and violence. Please read at your own discretion.

Shawn’s mouth was dry.  His body felt strange, stretched and cold.  His thoughts came slow and cloudy.  He scrunched his face and opened his eyes.  The light was dim and his vision was blurry.  It took him a moment to focus on the face in front of him.  It took him a moment longer to accept what he was seeing.

“Mary?” Shawn asked. “Mary? No…”

“Hello Shawn.”

“Oh god!” Shawn exclaimed, “I’m dead, aren’t I?  Is this heaven?  I didn’t think there really was one…”

Mary beamed at him. “You think I’d be the first face you see in heaven? Shawn, that makes me so happy.”

Shawn drew a deep breath.  His arms hurt.  They were stretched above his head, he realized.  He tried to pull them down but they resisted.  Something was around his wrists, holding them up. He glanced down at himself.  He was naked.  That didn’t seem good.  Heaven?  No.  Hell, maybe, but Shawn didn’t believe in hell, so…

“You’re not dead,” said Shawn.

“Not yet.” Mary answered.

The image of Mary bleeding in his arms burned through Shawn’s mind. “I saw you die,” he said.

“Did you?” asked Mary.

“There was an autopsy!” Shawn exclaimed, “There were paramedics and…” Shawn’s voice trailed off.  It was too impossible.

“There are several ways to simulate death Shawn, and several ways to convince a coroner to fudge the truth.  Bribery works alright.  Threatening to kill his family works better.”

Shawn swallowed. “But that doesn’t make sense unless…”

“Yes?” Mary asked.

“Yin.” said Shawn, “You’re Yin.”

“That’s the third time you’ve accused me of that Shawn.  I wonder if you’re going to change your mind again?”

“I doubt it,” Shawn answered.  He was feeling sharper, more focused.  The gas must have been wearing off.  That’s right, the gas.  Memories flooded into Shawn.  A computer chat with Lassie, Lassie asking him to him at an empty warehouse on the pier - something about a case, Shawn arriving to find Lassiter waiting, Lassiter asking him why Shawn had wanted to meet there, a moment of confusion, a realization coming too late as something like a teargas grenade went off between them. Fuck. Fuck.  In retrospect the trap seemed obvious. Fuck.

Shawn looked around him.  He was still in the warehouse, it was empty save for a long table with three televisions on it and a small metal cart with what looked like a remote control on it.  Mary was there as well, of course, and…

“Lassie!” Shawn exclaimed.  Lassiter was stretched out, his hands bound to a long chain hanging off a winch from the ceiling.  A power cord hung off the winch as well, dangling free just next to Lassiter’s head.  The control at the end of it had two buttons on it, green and red.  Up and down, Shawn guessed.  No doubt the rig holding Shawn up was something similar.  Lassiter, at least, was fully clothed.

Lassiter had already regained consciousness, he looked at Shawn with steady eyes. “I’m right here Shawn,” he said. “I want you to stay calm, can you do that for me?”

“It’s a good idea,” said Mary. “If you thrash too much I might accidently cut you.”

“Cut me?” Shawn asked, just before noticing the long pair of scissors in Mary’s hand.  He spotted a few threads of fabric caught in the handle.  Yellow, from his shirt he realized.  Mary held the scissors up and reached above Shawn’s head.

Shawn winced as he heard the sharp snip above him.  "You did not just cut my hair!" he exclaimed.

"Only a little." said Mary.  He showed Shawn the thick clump in his hand. It was two inches long, at least, and had to have come from the dead center of Shawn’s head where his hair was the fullest. "I'm going to tie a little ribbon around it and keep it in a box."  Mary dropped most of it on the floor, keeping just a little lock between his fingers.  

"Oh. My. God.” said Shawn, “Those scissors better have been sharp because I swear to god if I get split ends..."

"They're very sharp." Mary assured him, "Very."

Mary turned his head and towards Lassiter. "Your hair's not long enough for a proper keepsake, is it?  Maybe I should take something else?  The tip of an ear, do you think?"

Shawn jerked against his chains, ignoring the shooting pain it sent through his arms, "Mary no, No!"

Mary looked again at Shawn and blinked, like he was surprised by the outburst, "I was only joking.  I'd never hurt Carlton, don't you know that?"

Shawn laughed, sharp and cold.  He couldn't help it, it was too surreal. "Oh yeah,” he said. “Of course you wouldn't.  What was I thinking?"

Mary sighed, "You don't believe me..."

"Well, Mary, can you really blame me if I don't?"

Mary stared at Shawn, twirling the lock of his hair between his thumb and forefingers.  He tapped the scissors in his other hand against his leg. Shawn stared back, willing himself not to look away, no matter how much the eye contact chilled him.  There was a heavy silence.

"Let's watch TV," Mary said suddenly, turning away from Shawn to walk towards the cart.  He tucked Shawn’s hair into his shirt pocket as he did. 

Shawn let out a breath and glanced over at Lassiter.  Lassiter was carefully observing Mary - Shawn could see him following every move with his eyes, looking for an opportunity.  Shawn sighed.  He never would have imagined that seeing Lassiter stretched out in chains could be anything less than erotic, but all Shawn felt was fear. Lassie must have heard him, or sensed him watching, because he found Shawn's eyes with his own and held them for a moment.  Shawn could see everything he was feeling reflected in Lassiter's face, and it was too much to bear.  He leaned against his chains in Lassie's direction, a hopeless gesture, but Lassiter understood.  He mouthed at Shawn that he loved him before turning his focus again on Mary.  His eyes were colder than Shawn had ever seen them. In the tender day to day moments of their lives Shawn had sometimes forgotten what Lassiter was capable of, that he'd been trained to kill, that he had killed, that he'd do it again if he needed to.  He didn't think he'd forget again.

Mary exchanged the scissors for the odd looking remote; it had only a few buttons and what looked like a joystick on it.  He walked to the monitors and turned each one on by pressing the power button at its base.  Shawn frowned; the remote wasn’t for the TVs then?  Three separate pictures, live feeds by the look of them, showed on the screens and Shawn’s heart dropped.  Gus in the Psych offices, Henry on his boat, and a pineapple in an open field.   Shawn didn’t know what it all meant, but it couldn’t be good.  Well, the pineapple wasn’t so bad, all things considered.  The view of Gus was a little obscured.  Shawn could tell from the angle that the camera in the Psych office had to be hidden behind the vent that overlooked Gus’s desk.  He wasn’t familiar enough with Henry’s boat to know for sure, but he imagined Mary had hidden that camera somewhere in the awning over the steering wheel.

Lassiter snarled, “What the hell is this, Lightly?”

“My insurance policy,” Mary explained. “Here, let me show you.  They’re my TV’s, so I get to pick the first one.”

Mary fiddled with the joystick on the remote.  The camera on the field turned a little so that the pineapple was center screen.  Mary pressed a button and the pineapple burst into pieces.

“Fuck!” Shawn swore, “Fuck! Fuck!”

Mary asked, “Did you see it? It looked a little like an explosion, that wasn’t what I was hoping for but I guess that what high caliber hollow point bullets do to a piece of fruit.”

“Mary, Mary.” Shawn pleaded, “Please…”

“You can pick the next one, if you like,” Mary offered.

Shawn blinked back the tears of sheer panic he felt forming in his eyes. He wanted to cry, wanted to scream but… calm. Lassie had said to stay calm.  He tried to keep his voice steady as he pleaded, “Mary, no. No. Please don’t hurt my Dad, please, not Gus, please.”

Mary tilted his head at Shawn, “I thought this would make you happy.”

 “How…” Shawn’s breath hitched, “How in the _hell_ would this make me happy?”

Mary sighed, “You’re smarter than that Shawn, I know you are.  I suppose the circumstances are bound to test your nerves a little but please try and make an effort.  Like I said, this is my insurance policy.  Burton and Henry - not Carlton - you see?  You can believe that I’m not going to hurt him, because I don’t have to.  Because I have two other choices if you don’t do what I say.”

Shawn shook his head like he was trying to wake up from a nightmare, only he wasn’t asleep, “What do you want Mary?”

Mary tucked the remote in his pocket and walked to Shawn, reaching up to cup his cheek in his hand.  Shawn closed his eyes and turned his head away, he knew his clear revulsion might aggravate Mary but he couldn’t stop himself, Mary’s touch made him feel like he was going to be sick.

“Shawn.” Mary said softly, “All I want is to be with you.”  He pet his hand down Shawn’s neck, “You… and Carlton, of course.  Although frankly, I’d take just you if I could get it, but it’s alright Shawn, I understand.  You love him.  You wouldn’t forgive me if I took him away, would you?  I know how you feel, he’s magnificent.  Just look at him.” Mary suddenly gripped Shawn’s head and pulled it back, hard, “I told you to look at him!” he snapped.

“I’m looking! I’m looking!” Shawn answered, wincing at the sudden pain, “I’m looking. See?”

Lassiter was still staring Mary, his expression just as cold as it had been before, his lips pressed thin.  Shawn didn’t fully understand how he could stay so still, so calm, but he was glad he did.  It made what was happening to him easier to take.  The world was falling apart, Lassiter wasn’t.

“Look at him,” Mary repeated. “The firm jaw, the bent nose, the tired lines, the piercing eyes.  Strong, dominant, and so proud, isn’t he?  Helpless, but you’d never know it.  See how he still holds his chin up?  Still looks like he thinks he’s in charge?  A paragon of masculinity if there ever was one. He’s not like you are, is he?  Not like me?”

“No,” said Shawn. “He’s not.  He’s not like you at all.” Lassiter’s eyes flicked briefly to Shawn.

“Or you.” Mary reminded, “It’s like Yang and I.  She chose me, you know, chose me when I was barely more than a boy.  Would you like to know how we met?”

“Personal ad?” Shawn guessed, “Heartless bitch seeks crazy limp wristed lunatic for murderously good times - no smokers?” 

“Chess,” said Mary. “We met over chess, perfect, isn’t it?  We were in a league, not the same team, but the same town.  The first time I saw her was when we were paired against each other.  I looked at her across the board, and she smiled at me.  Smiled, like she already knew.  Have you ever looked at a chessboard? They’re really quite beautiful. The black squares, the white squares, they fit right together to make something bigger than themselves.  And the two sides?  Two players to make a match?  Do you see what I’m saying Shawn? Everyone needs a counterbalance.”    

“And what,” asked Shawn. “I’m supposed to be yours?”

Mary scoffed, “Now you’re being purposefully obtuse.  Yang is mine.  Didn’t I already tell you that?  Carlton.  Carlton is yours.”

“Great!” Shawn exclaimed, “So how about Lassie and I just go on our way then, counterbalances that we are, and you can go be with your special someone in the hospital for the criminally insane.”

“No.” said Mary, “No. You stay with me.  He stays too.  I won’t settle for half of you, Shawn, I want the whole thing, and he’s part of that. Nobody is whole on their own, you can’t play chess against yourself.”  

“Sure you can!” Shawn exclaimed, “I’ve done it!  Let me down and I’ll show you, I should warn you though, my signature ‘Rook takes Knight’ move has been known to make ladies faint.”

“I was so young…” Mary said, more to himself than to Shawn, “So young when she got to me.  Thirteen, but still a child, really. She was… older.  I was - what’s the term? - A late bloomer.  Still pimples and baby fat - shy, awkward - no one would have looked twice at me.  No one except Yang.  She looks under a person’s skin and right at the heart of them, sometimes literally, though not in my case.  She looked into me and saw me for what I was. And then she showed me.”

Mary leaned close, whispering in Shawn’s ear, “And now I’m going to show you.”

“I know what you are Mary,” said Shawn.

“Do you?” Mary asked, “I doubt it.  It took me so long to realize what you are…”

“Awesome?” asked Shawn. “Gus could have told you that.”

Mary smiled, “You’ll think this is funny, but when I first saw your picture in The Courier, I thought it was just a physical attraction.”

Shawn shook his head. “Mary, I don’t think that’s even a little bit funny.”

Mary stroked his hand over Shawn’s bare chest. “Such a pretty man, aren’t you?  Such wide green eyes, such fat pink lips.  The cheeks.  And you, so clever with it.  The conscientiously ruffled clothes to make you seem boyish… the stubble to prove you’re not a boy… all calculated to show off your features at their best.  Calculated.  That’s when I started to suspect, Shawn.  I looked into it.  Followed your career.  Convinced Yang to play that fun little game with mommy and the waitress...”

“Look, Mary,” said Shawn. “I like a good evil monologue as much as the next guy, but would you please get to the point.”

“I’m clever.  I’m calculating.  I’m even a little pretty without my glasses.” Mary said, “I’m an excellent criminologist, a sharp investigator, just like you are Shawn. I don’t like to follow rules.  Neither do you. I could go on, but you get the idea. I look at you, and I see me.  You’re who I would have been if Yang hadn’t gotten to me.”

“Bullshit,” said Lassiter. “That’s bullshit Shawn.”

“I know baby,” Shawn answered. “For one, Mary could _never_ pull off my hair.”

“I could pull it out.” Mary countered, then patted his shirt where he’d tucked the lock he’d cut off, “But I have enough for now.  It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe me.  You will.  See Shawn, I’m going to prove it to you.  I’m going to ruin you, the way Yang ruined me, and then we’ll be the same.”

Shawn’s eyes narrowed, his lip curled up. “That’s never going to happen.”

Mary reached out and grabbed the switch hanging next to Shawn’s head.  He pressed the green button and the locks holding the chain in place released.  Mary grabbed Shawn’s head and pushed down, bending Shawn over, stretching Shawn’s arms backwards at a painful and unnatural angle.  When Shawn’s chest was perpendicular to the floor Mary locked the chain in place again.  There was enough slack now that Shawn could have stood, he tried – pushing back against Mary’s hand but Mary stopped him with a low growl, “Did you forget about my insurance?” He asked. “Be a good boy or I’ll burst Burton’s head open.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” Shawn stammered.

Mary rubbed his hand gently over Shawn’s back, “I’m going to ruin you.  I’m going to ruin you and Carlton’s going to watch,” said Mary. “I’m going to teach you that everything you think is good about the world is a lie.  I’m going to bleed the innocence out of you.  I’m going to make you Yin.  Then, when you understand, we can work on Carlton together.  He’ll make a good Yang for you.  He already has so much rage, so much violence in him… he just needs to learn to channel it.”

Shawn looked up at the screens in front of him.  Gus. Dad.  Whatever Mary had planned, he could handle it.  He wasn’t going to lose his family; Henry, looking like a dork in his fishing hat and singing to himself as he dropped his line in the water, Gus, eating a bag of chips that Shawn had hidden in the back of the cupboard – nothing was more important than keeping them safe. They weren’t going to die, not for him. Shawn tried to focus on the grainy images, to remind himself that he could bear this, to give himself a distraction. “Hey!” Shawn exclaimed, “Those are _my_ chips!  Lassie, when this is over I insist you arrest Gus for petty chip-theftery.”

“Whatever you want Shawn,” muttered Lassiter.

Mary made a small, amused noise. "Carlton, you’re surprising me.  That’s not easy to do.  You’ve been so quiet, and here I’ve got Shawn bent over like the filthy bitch that he is.  I would have thought this was the part where you started yelling at me.  Telling me not to touch what's yours?  A little begging, maybe?  Some desperate negotiations for Shawn's well being?"

"Negotiations?" Lassiter asked, "No.  There aren't going to be negotiations."

"No?  Don't you think he's worth it?"

"Of course I do,” said Lassiter. “He's worth anything.  That's the point. We both already know there's nothing I wouldn't do to keep you from hurting him. If there's something you want from me, name it, but don't insult me by pretending there's going to be a compromise.  You've planned this too well to be interested in bargaining."

"True,” said Mary.  “Very true.  A little disappointing though... I did want to hear you call me a few names before you caved.  Bastard, maybe?  Maniac?  Miscreant."

"I'll call you whatever you want me to," said Lassiter.

 Mary sighed, "It's not the same if I ask for it... I don't suppose you could threaten me a little?  Sincerely, I mean.  You must be angry enough for it?"

Lassiter shook his head, "I already told you, there's not going to be a compromise."

Mary asked, "What do you mean?"

"Threats are tools of compromise, Lightly, a useful tactic for when you're trying to encourage or discourage a particular behavior, but they only work on the sane. You're clearly out of your mind. You're going to do whatever you want to, regardless of the consequences."

Mary drummed his fingers over the small of Shawn’s back, "Consequences?"

"This ends two ways. You have the power, for now, but there are two of us and one of you.  I'm a trained officer of the law, Shawn is a genius - I suppose you are too, but you're also crazy, and crazy people make mistakes.  You will make a mistake, and when you do one of us is going to use it against you.  Use it to take control of the situation.  Then this ends, as I said, one of two ways, dependent on what you've done between now and then."

"Well don't keep me in suspense, Carlton."

Lassiter wet his lips and locked his eyes onto Mary’s, "Either you've kept your hands off Shawn and I place you under arrest."

"Or?"

"Or you haven't, and I kill you," finished Lassiter.

 "Oh." Mary gasped, his voice soft and breathy. Pleased, like he'd just opened a gift. "Oh.  That was so much better than a threat.  That was a promise, wasn't it?  You made me a promise."

"Yes I did." said Lassiter.

"Carlton..." Mary drew out the name affectionately and pulled his hand off Shawn's back. Shawn stood immediately, wiggling his shoulders to make sure they hadn’t dislocated.

Mary crossed the room and stood before Lassiter, smiling almost shyly at him. "Carlton.  I can make promises too. Would you like to hear one?"

Lassiter didn't answer; he just stared.  His silence only made Mary's smile grow wider.

"I promise..." said Mary, reaching out to fiddle with the tip of Lassiter's tie as he spoke, "I promise that if you get on your knees and suck me like you’re my whore, I'll stretch Shawn before I fuck him.  He'll still scream, I'm sure, but at least you'll know he's not hurting as much as he would be if I went in raw. Deal?"

"Deal,” answered Lassiter.

"Lassie!" Shawn protested.

"We take what we can get, Shawn,” said Lassiter, his voice eerily flat.

"So practical," praised Mary, reaching for the control cord hanging by Lassiter. "Let's lower you down, shall we?"

As Mary took the cord in hand, Lassiter rose to the balls of his feet.  Mary didn’t notice.  Shawn did.  His eyes widened with hope.

The moment Mary pressed the button to unlock the chain, Lassiter surged forward, slamming the full weight of his body into Mary.  The chain clattered as it ran through the pulley, following Lassiter and Mary down to the floor.  Lassiter grabbed Mary by the collar and hit his head against the concrete, hard enough that there was an audible crack.  He drove his knee into Mary’s stomach and grabbed the slack chain off the floor, looping it around Mary’s neck.  “You fuck!” Lassiter screamed, _screamed_ , as he pulled his hands back, drawing the chain tight, “You you crazy fuck!  Mary struggled, gasping for air.  Lassiter pulled tighter and Mary’s eyes rolled back.  “You really think I’d let you have him?” Lassiter snarled, “No one hurts Shawn!  No one!” He pressed a hand over Mary’s throat and stared down at him.  Mary went still, and Lassiter let up a little, but kept his hand in place, breathing deeply.  He was shaking, in anger or fear.  Maybe both.

"Is he dead?" Shawn asked.

"No." Lassiter answered.  "Do you want him to be?"

"What?"

“It wouldn’t take much more,” said Lassiter. “Just say the word."

Shawn drew in a shaky breath. Did he want him to be?  He squeezed his eyes shut.  Did he want him to be.  Of course he did.  One word.  One word and Mary would be dead, permanently this time.  One word and Yin would be gone. Shawn wouldn't even have to watch.

"No," Shawn answered, without really understanding why.  "No Lassie."

He heard Lassiter exhale in relief.  Shawn opened his eyes again and looked at him.  Lassiter's grip on the chain was still tight, his eyes were focused on Mary's face, looking for any sign of movement, ready to finish the job if he had to - but only if he had to.  Lassiter could kill, but he wasn't a killer.  He wasn't a murder.

Not unless Shawn wanted him to be.

"Lassie..." Shawn said helplessly.  He didn't know how to finish, didn't know what to say.  'I love you' didn't seem like enough anymore.

"It's going to be okay, Shawn."

“Yeah.” Shawn agreed, “Except for the whole ‘still locked up in an abandoned warehouse’ thing.  I doubt there’s enough slack on your chain for you to make it to a payphone.”

“Oh, right.” said Lassiter.  He fumbled over Mary, his hands still restricted, but he managed to pull the remote out of Mary’s pocket.  He played with the controls, rotating the camera on Henry’s boat.

“Uh, Lass?”

“Don’t worry,” said Lassiter. “I have a very good aim.” 

Lassiter positioned the camera so that it was pointed a good two feet away from Henry then pressed the ‘fire’ button.  There was no sound, but Henry’s reaction said it all.  He jumped in surprise as the railing next to him splintered into pieces.  He ducked down, looked frantically around him, and then scooted forward, examining the bullet hole.  Shawn watched him quickly assess the angle then follow it with his eyes to the source, just the way he’d taught Shawn to.  His expression changed the moment he saw the camera.  In a flash he was on the boat’s radio, no doubt contacting the police.

“There.” Lassiter said, “When the Chief and O’Hara hear about this the first thing they’ll do is…”

“Look for us!” Shawn finished, “I log all our chats - they’ll find the one about meeting you here and come get us!  That’s brilliant Lassie.  And here you told Mary I was the genius.”

Lassiter frowned, “You log all our chats?”

“Sure.”

“ _All_ of them? Even the…”

“Especially the dirty ones,” confirmed Shawn.

“Spencer!”

“What?”

“Someone could read those!”

“Oh come on,” said Shawn. “Who’s gonna read them?”

“You just said it yourself.  O’Hara… _Chief Vick_.”

Shawn frowned, “You don’t really think they’d read back past the one about coming here… do you?”

“Shawn, that computer is evidence now.  The tech squad will go through all of them.”

Shawn grinned. “Boy, are they in for a treat.”

Lassiter squeezed his eyes shut for just a moment before locking them again on Mary, “Those are my colleagues, Shawn.”

“So? Everyone already knows we’re a couple.”

“Yes, but…”

“But they don’t know you’re such a kinky bastard.” Shawn nodded, “I can see how that could be awkward for you.”

“This isn’t funny.”

“Oh, come on Lassie.  Every officer in the city is going to come streaming in here and see me chained up and naked in a few minutes.  If I can see the humor in that then you have to be able to see the humor in Officer Geeknerd or whoever it is who goes over my computer knowing your penchant for dolling out the occasional cyber spanking.”

Lassiter shook his head, “You’re crazy Shawn.”

Shawn shivered, “Don’t say that.”

“I didn’t mean it.”

Shawn nodded, “I know but…”

“You’re nothing like Lightly,” said Lassiter. “You never will be.  You’re a good man.”

Shawn smiled sourly, “Thanks.”

“I mean it Shawn.  You can’t believe anything he told you.  Nothing. None of it was true, tell me you know that.”

“He said you were my counter balance… that you made me whole…”

“Not true, Honey.” said Lassiter softly, “We complement each other but you’re your own man, you always have been.  You’re whole without me.”

“Maybe,” said Shawn, “But I’m wholer with you.”

Lassiter’s lip quirked, “Wholer’s not a word, but I know exactly what you mean.  I need you too.”

They looked at each other until the approaching sirens broke the silence.  Shawn suddenly gasped in realization. “Lassie!” He exclaimed, “Be honest, how bad is it?”

“What?”

Shawn bounced on the balls of his feet, “Oh god, I can’t believe they’re going to see me like this!  Eh!  What if Jules sees?”   

Lassiter’s brow furrowed, “I thought you said you thought it was funny…”

Shawn rolled his eyes, “I don’t mean the naked thing, Lassface!”

“Then what…”

“Hair, Lassie!  He cut off my hair!”

If the SWAT team that stormed into the building moments later thought it was strange that Lassiter was laughing, they didn’t say anything.  High trauma situations did strange things to a person’s nerves.


End file.
